In With A Bang!
Updated: Jan 25, 2019
It is mid-January and we all know what that means … the gyms are starting to look empty, the ‘My Resolutions’ list is beginning to collect dust. Perhaps my skepticism comes from a place so known to me and it’s called — LazyLand. We’ve all been there and truth be told, it is all too common for us to be completely excited for a fresh start the year brings us; coming up with lists of ‘New Year, New Me’ but just like all things new, it begins to lose its appeal and well, we just get bored!
I know that you want to change that so let’s get down to the 3 habits to conquer in order to make 2019 a year of self-growth and accomplishments.
If you have never heard of The Red Table Talk, have a watch once reading this article. The show is hosted by three generations of women who sit across each other and talk about life’s ferocious winds that sweep all of us every once in a while. In the show, Jada Pinkett Smith has repeatedly stressed that self-love is self-discipline. Of course, at first, it’s hard to understand but let’s have a look at it thoroughly. If you think about it and I mean really think about it, self-discipline is what gets your life going. You get out of bed at a certain time because you need to get to work or school at a certain time. You do laundry because you need clean and fresh clothes to wear daily. You take out the trash because ain’t no one wants a home that is nasty. But, sometimes, we slip and when we do slip, we feel really frustrated about it and who gets the blame? Most of the time, we blame ourselves. We go into this spiral of self-deprecating talk that tells us one thing and one thing only — “you can’t do anything right”.
This is when we bring the dark clouds upon us and then, we let it sit with us longer than a while by feeling sorry for ourselves or even hating who we are. This is why in 2019, let it be known to you and the voices in your head that self-love is not just about taking a spa day off or taking a shopping spree too far than your credit card can handle — it is about making sure that every day, you are doing, saying, thinking of things that only nurture your growth as an individual. That in itself is the biggest act of self-love you can gift yourself
Live Your Truth
When we say “live and let live”, what do we really mean? Are we indirectly giving ourselves the excuse to do whatever it is that we want even when deep down, we know they don’t serve any purpose to our lives? Are we looking to genuinely accept others for who they are and reserve judgement over what they do? It’s tricky when it comes to such statements especially when it collides with the true purpose of living fully. But then again, what does it mean to live fully? Each individual has a different definition. That’s what makes us all unique and distinct from one another. It provides us with perspectives and depth to the way we understand the world around us.
But, for some reason, all of us know what it truly means to live fully based on our own definitions. We can feel it and I’m sure you know exactly what I mean by that. Hence why this year, it is all about living our truth. Saying no to things and people when we truly feel like a no inside, accepting opportunities for growth and leaps of faith even when we feel waves of fear crash into us, acknowledging the small victories we have made over the course of our lives — yes, even if it is as simple as being able to consistently keep up with laundry duties! This year, we live our truth!
I must say, even keeping those two habits in check all day, let alone all YEAR is going to require some serious hardwork. But, don’t be threatened by that. Ask yourself how bad do you want change? That’s the thing — we want things to change but we never intend to make changes. Sit down, take a piece of paper and write down all things you would want to do differently this year and tie them to your own interests. When you like doing the things you have to do, you’ll do it! Basic Science! Set aside some time, it could be 10 minutes or an hour to just do the things you love doing. If journaling helps you to tackle your emotions, do that. If meditating, gives you space to come back to the present moment then you do you, boo! If you need to get fit but you hate going to the gym, join a dance class or go swimming! Every little thing that gives us the power to PAUSE the world outside to explore the world inside, is worth exploring. This is how we are able to maintain our discipline and to make sure we are always in alignment with who we are truly.
Personally, I find writing to help me with the big stuff and even the small stuff — as small as not quite liking the fact that my wardrobe is in a mess and I am too lazy to Konmari it. Believe me, owning up to your flaws and faults will push you to do the things that are right for you. The first step of admitting and being aware of them is usually what takes people so long to move forward in their lives and live life to the fullest. So, ask yourself today — what is that you truly want to change and how can you make it fun for you?
I hope that these three habits work their way into your 2019 self-love journey. Let’s not get off the ‘New Year, New Me!’ train just yet. There are 12 months ahead of us and you know what? If you think 2019 is going to be YOUR year, then NOTHING can stop or change that. You really are in charge of what you do or say and how you choose to feel about things. Let this year be a reflection of who you truly are.
Written By: Phavanjit Kaur
About the writer :
Phavanjit is currently a Teach for Malaysia fellow in Pasir Gudang, Johor. She writes to remain centered amidst lesson planning and bureaucratic demands. She enjoys rainy days with a hot mug of chai and a good book. She really is obsessed with all things 'p' — photography, philosophy and pancakes. Read more of her thoughts surrounding her journey to be more present here.